I have many things on my mind right now. Some of them are related to my previous post. I was reading a lot this weekend. The book that fits in my purse is Borg and Wright's The Meaning of Jesus. Ironically, I was reading Wright which further confirmed my sentiments to the previous post. Even while reading the more "conservative" theologian, I can confirm that I'm heretical. How do you like dem apples?
As you know, this is the week of the mammogram. That's on my mind. I have a plan but haven't called Songbird to ask her if she'll join me. I'll tell you about it later. Songbird, if I haven't yet called you, it means that I'm going to have lots to talk about on Wednesday when I see you. Wednesday is when we have our clergy lady group. I wonder if it's unwise to post that. Ah well. I'm having an issue at church that seems like a non-issue in most ways. I'm kicking ass. God has put me in the right place. I know this is where I'm supposed to be -- and I look forward to the things that we are going to do together. I just got a little giddy thinking about it. And yet, there is an issue. I'm not sure how to handle it. I welcome all prayers for clarity.
I listened to a lot of music this weekend. I went to a classical concert on Friday night. I heard piano music that was mind-blowing... in Maine. (I'm still a New York snob sometimes.) And then, I went to hear jazz on Saturday night. There is no jazz in Maine. I've missed jazz. Really missed jazz. So, there has been a lot of music. Lots of sound. Lots of noise bopping around in my head -- which has made me think a lot about silence.
What do you think about silence? This is a sincere question -- and I am looking for answers, please. Do you need silence to pray? Do you need silence to center? Do you need silence when you wish the theologically-problematic anthem is being sung in worship? Do you crave it? Is it something you seek? Does it need to be broken up by music or sound? What does silence mean to you?
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Rant, pray, bless, draw, lament and praise with me in the wonders and mysteries of trying to be who God has called me to be.
6 comments:
I want to ponder your questions about silence and come back (except to say that when the anthems are theologically problematic, I would prefer silence, definitely).
Meanwhile, I'm keeping Friday open.
what a wonderful question. I absolutely need silence--and living in a city, that's hard to come by. But I've found that silence enables my soul to rest, and to find a deeper connection with God in a way that music or other "sound" can't.
When I can't find that time or place for silence, I can definitely notice my mood shift for the worse...
i live for the end of the day when i can get out of really big city to my neighborhood in big city, so much quieter with trees and neighbors. i love silence. i used to not be able to study without music and now i love it being quiet and at home and being to hear a few cars but mostly just the typing of the keyboard. i wrote a whole good friday sermon about silence. it was good, if i may say so myself. i can send it to you if you want. hold the phone! i just heard, in the silence, our BOILER TURNED ON. that is a sound i like to hear.
I have a love/hate relationship with silence. Sometimes I need it desperately -- a respite from the insistance of so many demands screaming incessantly. But sometimes, it frightens me beyond belief. Even so, I am someone relatively comfortable with silence in a conversation -- most of the time. But, sometimes, I become overwhelmed by all of those things I won't say, can't say. I continue to struggle with the possibility that sometimes I seem to exist within God's silence.
Silence has become really precious to me. I don't have to have it to pray, but I do have to have it to stay whole. I try to take about 20 minutes each day for silence. I'm absolutely an extrovert, so I do get energy from being around other people, but I feel like a little sponge at the end of the day. I've absorbed so much of what people bring to me that silence is my time to be rinsed out by God.
(On the other hand, I sometimes have a very hard time getting through Meeting for Worship with my Quaker husband. Being silent in a large group is torture for me.)
I'm an extrovert and always on the go. I used to hate silence. I didn't like being quiet and alone with myself. Now however, I crave it. I need the space in which to let my brain think (internally). I also find God speaks in silence. God also speaks in other ways but because silence is so hard for me, I sometimes think God is clearer in silence. Not sure if that makes sense. It is simply how it works for me.
But all that said, I'm not that good at silence - as I posted on my blog yesterday. I know I need it though, so I keep trying. Oh, and silence does not need to be sitting still. Hiking or walking a labyrinth are great ways to enter silence. Bet you have some amazing hiking up there!
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