"You were not part of the plan," Musicman absently remarked this morning driving me home this morning. "But, your best element is surprise."
I think I asked something stupid about whether or not he liked surprises. I had also just asked the stupid question of whether or not he would return my calls in three weeks when I return from Scotland. I'm not good at this. Clearly. As much as Musicman has been taken by surprise, I have been too. This is most unexpected -- but it's sweet and romantic and wildly exciting.
I divulged a secret to him last night -- something I don't share about myself ever. Or nearly ever. And yet, I thought at that moment that it was important for him to know. And it was. He needed to know this. Not for him, but because I needed him to know it. Of course, the response is what scared me. He could have responded in any number of ways. But, when I did the girly thing of asking him what he was thinking (which he does more often than I do), he told me that the strangest thing was that it didn't scare him at all. I replied: "Well, that freaks me out." At least I'm honest -- but I'm totally shocked by the welcome surprise that this boy has offered. I cherished dinner and drinks with him last night. I loved watching him on stage and snuggling with him afterward. It's a surprise. It's all a great surprise. And now, I have that stupid girly grin again. Sigh.