7.20.2006

The Will of God

What do you think about the Will of God? No, really. I want to know. What do you think?

Ok, I'll start. The Will of God. Ok, first, I capitalize this term because it is one of those terms that we throw around like we know what it means. It's right there in the Lord's Prayer. We repeat these words in worship almost every Sunday (and sometimes more often). And, I wonder if we really know what "thy will be done" means.

It's really a personal lament. Maybe it's not a lament that you share. But, I can't help but wonder what the hell the Will of God refers to? As a liberal Christian, I'm uncomfortable with the notion of providence. I'm not confident that we can claim that God is doing this, or doing that. I'm not uncomfortable with the fact that God might condemn or destroy as much as He (and in this case, God is a He) might create. I've worked with the poor (which is another horrible term, by the way). I have heard people of deep faith talk about the Will of God with a conviction that I would never question. But, the seven year old motherless daughter in me wants an alternative.

I want an alternative today. I want one right now!! And I just might throw a tantrum in my rage because I really don't know what to do with this notion of the Will of God. I trust in the power of God. I trust that God is leading me. But, I still think that she might have a twisted sense of humor and might yell "Gotcha!" at any second. Maybe it's my fault because I was confident and I thought that I had all of the answers. I thought that I knew where I was supposed to be. I thought I knew where She was calling me. And then, things changed. Something happened that I don't want to put on the internet (which by the way, was also not my fault). And now, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think. But, somehow I know that it's not meaningless. I do. I'm a little indignent. But, I know it. Really, I do.

But, can I have the appropriate (whatever that is) faith in the Will of God? Can I really believe that God does indeed have the whole world in Her hands? Or at least right now, can I believe that She is holding me? She knows. She will lead me. Maybe there is a lesson, though I'm not really sure. I can only be certain that she is here. Perhaps that is a contradiction, but I believe that She is here holding my hand. And most of me wants to hold to the faith in these words:

"I believe that nothing meaningless has happened to me and also that it is good for us when things run counter to our desires. I see a purpose in my present existence and only hope that I fulfill it." -- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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