2.01.2009

With Authority

I listened to a sermon today about Jesus -- the one with authority. Not the one with power, but the one with authority. Perhaps the distinction is important but it was lost on me today. I didn't get it. I may not have been paying attention, but I didn't get it. I was totally lost.

Instead, I was thinking about my mom. It was the preacher's fault actually. He started worship by commenting on Groundhog Day being the exact center between winter and spring. I hate Groundhog Day. Not because it's random or because it was a movie but because this is the day my mother died. Everyone else is looking forward. They are thinking about spring and less darkness while I just want to shrink into that darkness. The sermon wasn't about darkness though. It was about authority and the authority we stake in God even when our lives are complicated. We (as Christians) claim God to be our Savior so somehow the rest doesn't matter. That's what I heard from the pulpit. I wanted to throw my shoe at the preacher. It's not that this stuff -- this human stuff -- doesn't matter! It's the possibility that God gives us in the midst of that darkness. Of course, I wouldn't call that authority. Maybe that's the problem. I would probably just call it love -- but no matter what we call it, it wasn't the sermon I needed to hear today. It wasn't the hope I needed to find. So, I'm taking a personal day tomorrow and I'm going to try to find it somewhere in my grief.

5 comments:

Jeez said...

I'm so sorry. You're in my prayers as this day is ending for me now. I hope you find somewhere to grief in peace and get the right kind of wrong words (cause how can any words be comforting or right when someone you love is gone?).

Magdalene6127 said...

(((Pastor Peters))) Will be thinking about you.

My anniversaries are coming up within a couple of weeks (my mom dying the 11th, my ex leaving the 13th... yes, Valentine's Day weekend).

Teri said...

(((PP)))

I don't have much to say so I'll not say much...but I'm thinking of you.

LittleMary said...

hugs to you dear one. anniversaries suck. bad. will be praying for you today

sethpickens said...

I can relate to the pain of your mother passing. At least you don't have to live it over and over like in the movie Groundhog Day.

I'm realizing that every sermon is valuable. Even the bad ones tell us what not to do and say next time.