Last night, I had dinner with three women. One of these women I met nearly a year ago. Another of these women I met through the first woman. The third woman I just met last night. She's our age. She's been in this town as long as we have. Each of us have all been in this small city for nearly two years. As dinner arrived and conversation unfolded, we got to talking about how our time in this city and how we all became friends. And then, we learned that this third woman is looking at houses.
You could have heard a pin drop.
Now, I know that it's a really good time to buy a house (if you happen to be financially capable). It's a buyer's market. Blah blah blah. Musicman's roommates just bought a house. They just moved back to town and were not eager to live with Musicman long term -- which makes sense to me. They're a newly wed couple. Who wants to be shacking up with an old friend? (No matter how wonderful that friend is.) They asked me this same question: "Aren't you thinking about buying?" Actually, I think the question was: "When are you going to buy a house?"
Gulp. I'm not ready. It's as simple as that. One of these dinner companions continued this conversation today when she remarked that she wasn't sure that she was here for that long. I agree. I'm not sure how long I am staying in this town. I'm feeling more confident in my call and falling in love has definitely changed my story -- but I don't know if I'm here long enough to buy real estate. I suspect that I think I'm here longer than this friend of mine, but I'm not sure it would be a wise investment for me to suddenly purchase property. So, I wonder if my wander lust is over. That seems far too final. I can't really believe that. I still have this idea that I'll be in several different congregations all across the country, not only in the snowy north. I even wonder about being a missionary. I can't really grasp that my wandering days are over -- but I guess I wonder. Is this something that's common for our generation? Or is it just me?
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Rant, pray, bless, draw, lament and praise with me in the wonders and mysteries of trying to be who God has called me to be.
3 comments:
I don't think it's just you. I DID buy a house and I still dream about wandering...missionarying again, moving around, etc. I'm sort of hoping that buying a house doesn't have the same finality it did in our parents' or grandparents' generations...
I'm thinking about this too with my move in the very near future. And I'm with you. Can't really think about not wandering...
The correct terminology for what you're doing now in life is, "Wondering Around."
But don't sweat it. That's where you're meant to be. I was lodged there for decades myself.
When you're ready for Estate that's Real, you'll know.
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