In my field education class in seminary, we had to do this annoying assignment of filling out an hourly chart detailing how we budget our time. The purpose of this task for us seminarian justice-seeking overachievers was to establish the fact that we need to take time for self care. Our professors were looking for that hour cup of coffee with a friend. That three hour block watching a movie and laughing with a gaggle of seminarians. That 20 minutes of reading for fun on the subway ride to church.
I failed at this assignment because I felt Big Brother's presence. I felt that I needed to prove myself to God, to professors, to classmates. In my silly competitve nature, I focused on the wrong aspect of the assignment.
Today, the church is without power. Our big, fancy, spotlessly clean church has lights and water -- but no phones or DSL. So, I was sent home. I sent myself home actually because I knew that my pretty little laptop could offer more assistance to me that any technological nightmares in the church building. But, here I am at 2 PM. I have done everything that I can think of doing -- with the exception of not reaching congregants by phone still without power. The overachiever within me wants to be the country priest. I want to deliver flashlights and blankets to my congregants who most certainly don't need it. But, at 2 PM in the afternoon on the day after a storm, I feel like I should have more to do.
The newly-formed Pastor Parish Relations Committee is talking about doing this same kind of time study that I did in seminary. They want to see how my colleague and I manage our time. I think I'm going to go to the gym for an hour and then read a couple of chapters out of Bass' book. And somehow I still feel guilty about this. Oh, and I just blogged for 15 minutes about my guilt. Imagine putting that on my time study. Sigh.
Storms make me stir crazy.