tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13156597.post4721641977890011162..comments2023-06-19T06:58:03.102-04:00Comments on Rantings of the Faithful: The Angry EmailPastor Petershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03416847804704733797noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13156597.post-63326224448440808152009-01-12T23:12:00.000-05:002009-01-12T23:12:00.000-05:00Weird letter. BTW, it's "they're" lesbians not "th...Weird letter. <BR/><BR/>BTW, it's "they're" lesbians not "their" lesbians.hughmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09995638646423120399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13156597.post-75034340246578234482008-12-16T10:03:00.000-05:002008-12-16T10:03:00.000-05:00it's a boundary issue. of course it is. i'm not su...it's a boundary issue. of course it is. i'm not sure how knowing that makes it easier. the email was mean. that's why i'm angry. no matter how much i understand her anger, she was hurtful. and like many, i don't like when people are mean to me.<BR/><BR/>the edge for me is that i already feel like i'm hiding about this little bit of personal life i have. i'm not sure if i'm hiding because i'm not ready to share this or for some other reason.<BR/><BR/>i don't know. i meet with my spiritual director today. we'll see.Pastor Petershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03416847804704733797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13156597.post-35181051776182458312008-12-16T09:32:00.000-05:002008-12-16T09:32:00.000-05:00oops "eriCa"and ((((pastor peters)))oops "eriCa"<BR/><BR/>and ((((pastor peters)))Sarah S-Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02839861820297123884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13156597.post-40750876800191055172008-12-16T09:31:00.000-05:002008-12-16T09:31:00.000-05:00i concur with erika. the e-mail tells you much mo...i concur with erika. the e-mail tells you much more about her than you. she has serious boundary issues- your gut told you that already. in my experience, the only way dual (or multiple relationships) are possible is when all involved understand and respect boundaries. and it is always the folks with the weakest relationship to boundaries who want the dual or multiple relationships. tricky to negotiate for sure. <BR/><BR/>your strong anger does tell you something about you, i don't know what, because I don't know you. this is worth processing with a therapist or a spiritual director. <BR/><BR/>and yeah... don't respond until your past it. <BR/><BR/>but a simple... "it is important to me to have a private life" should suffice, when you're ready. she may not think it suffices, but that is irrelevant.Sarah S-Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02839861820297123884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13156597.post-24644612906632077562008-12-16T09:04:00.000-05:002008-12-16T09:04:00.000-05:00I'm sorry...this stinks.But remember, this is not ...I'm sorry...this stinks.<BR/><BR/>But remember, this is not about you, it's about her. It's not just that she doesn't get pastor-parishoner relations, she doesn't get boundaries.<BR/><BR/>Not that this makes it any easier.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13156597.post-23903182543840737502008-12-16T05:24:00.000-05:002008-12-16T05:24:00.000-05:00There is a difference between being honest and bei...There is a difference between being honest and being open. If your parishioners regard you as an honest person then you should be able to tell her that you simply don't want to talk to her about everything in your life. However, I strongly suggest that you do not mention that you like to maintain a distance between yourself and your "clients" as this can really annoy some members of the laity, especially if they see themselves as the same as you (priesthood of all believers etc.). At the end of the day honesty (not openness necessarily) is the best policy. Even if you still end up with a mess on your hands you will, at least, have the self-knowledge that you did the right thing.MadPriesthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15120376342802143188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13156597.post-71022569600308786332008-12-15T22:33:00.000-05:002008-12-15T22:33:00.000-05:00I have no words of wisdom, just prayers of support...I have no words of wisdom, just prayers of support for you. If it helps at all, I went the other direction and got beat up pretty badly for that as well. I used to think you could be a pastor and a friend and walk both sides of the line, but now I am not sure. From what I read, and have been reading, you set the boundaries you were comfortable with and stuck with them, which is commendable. Your private life is your private life. <BR/><BR/>((((pastor peters)))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com